I Obsess Over the Textures of Beauty Brands I Haven’t Tried and Can’t Afford

...like some sort of Kenneth Wayne Jennings for frugal findings

If I could pick one part of makeup that I love, it’s skin.

And not “skin” like skincare but skin as in balms and tinted moisturizers and any invention between.

I obsess over the textures of brands I haven’t tried and can’t afford (have you seen the texture of @arazabeauty “foundations”?!?), and I will probably be wearing @danessamyricksbeauty for the rest of my life because that’s how long her balms last (also, I want her brand to last forever. She is THAT kind and rare a person).

I still grew up on drugstore and lean towards drugstore typically, barring the uniqueness of my Danessa Balm obsession: Maybelline, L’oreal, Revlon… when in reason.

I use most far past their expiration and I can name exactly what I love from each brands off the top of my head, like some sort of Kenneth Wayne Jennings for frugal findings.

If I’m rushing, I like a cushion compact backhand of efficiency. I often make my own. I love making my own products in all the ways. I obsess over balmy glowy moon beam creams from @farmhousefresh that I see online and haver on forever, staring… But for now, I concoct my own 1 Broke Girl and a Walmart Space type of branding for shimmery creams, in the interim.

This is not when I’m at home and don’t want to wear anything but have some sort of reason (a business meeting or something) to want just above the New Found Glory of bare shiny nothingness.

I think if these routines end up looking like “skin” at the end - freckles, and regular-bathroom lighting, and no obvious swipes of blush or bronzer- then that personally got me is my goal.

It feels sort of vulnerable as a practical purchase/drugstore dalliance type of beauty buyer to show exactly how neurotic I am with routines and organization, and that I’m falling in love with a more designer brand. I can’t believe I’m getting to play with something so special, so long-lasting. It feels almost… dangerous. Can I fall in love?

This is something that shouldn’t feel vulnerable in any way in a space where I write about scars and surgeries and soubresauts so far between… and yet, somehow, old beauty constraints hold hard.

Coming off of last year with 5 surgeries, multiple infections, many organs slowing down, and now this year with operations to come: A lot of new cyborg parts and pieces… It’s strange to think that setting an insular and even selfish seeming goal like “I’ll document my face bases” could help so much while healing, reeling, and barely-dealing with the pain of recent weeks.

Knowing that small escapes exist can be the only escape we have sometimes.

Is there something you’ve been waiting to try in the beauty world, but can’t yet let yourself?

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