We Don’t See This Online or In Movies or In Novels
This video would look like THE MOST narcissistic thing on earth…
Except for the fact I made it for one very specific reason while temporarily offloading footage that was making me temporarily sad (missing dance and being in stories with people I wanted to spend as much time as possible around):
I realized that - although this is missing tons of surgeries and tons of dance returns and turns… this tells a real life story too:
“You can do sh*t you’re told you can’t”.
I don’t think you should have to do things before you’re ready. Or if it wounds you deeply. Or because you’re so fake-positive that you don’t even know what you think or feel any more. But I DO think that if you’re sick of Sick Tropes… Share this damn video that’s too long for algorithmic echolalia to ever share?
I gave EVERYTHING. I had an average of 1 to 5 surgeries per show season and was often back to dancing within 1 month to whatever-the-surgeon-told-me. We don’t see this online or in movies or in novels or most places. We see that one surgery benches us; That medicine holds the keys to our mind.
And so, purely so someone can see this and replace their chosen verb with whatever they need to fight for (for however long they choose to), know this:
You can have fake discs in your spine and active herniations… and dance.
You can have your colon and large intestine and appendix and gallbladder and parts of your sinuses and your uterus removed and dance. (And relate to jellyfish.)
You can prolapse whole *ss organs and dance. (Like, not at the same time? But after it’s all back in the right place or outta there.)
You can be someone who’s digestive system is so messed up that you poo blood on the reg and dance. (TMI, but someone might need that to be normalized so there she is.)
You can have ongoing lung infections and low lung function because of CF (and even months long antibiotics through your portacath) and still damn dance.
There are so many things I couldn’t dance through, as you can see. Our bodies will stop us. I will never outrun this and there is no going backwards.
Maybe it’s not what direction you move in, but just that YOU choose your next move at all.
The work here is reader-supported. To receive new words almost every weekday (!), videos and art, kindly considering supporting, even though I know that funds and free-time is precious and should never be taken for granted
Thank you for keeping words in the world! If you can’t give, get some for free every weekday by leaving your email at the link above, and kindly consider suggesting this space to a friend?
When you put words into the world, you break chains. I am Jacob Marley. That is MY narcissistic imagery. Living with layers of chains. Marley’s chains although self inflicted vs. my DNA inflicted chains are still chains.
⛓️🧬, see? Since I get to choose my next move I am going with bolt cutters and a much needed shower today. Yes, a chain can make a shower that dang hard. (dang ™️ Bailey Ann Vincent)
I can relate to this post on so many levels!
You can have a loud tinnitus and tell yourself that human body is able to adapt to so many things - and adapt, accept your impairment but still live effectively, ask for help and take medication which allows you to sleep;
You can have depression but explain to yourself that you always have time to do the „s-thing” - and live (even if just to see one evil dictator lose);
You can even accept that you do not have any dreams or things you really like, but live for the minute glimpses of sun and joy, for „your” team winning a game, for the concert after which you see a girl being hugged and told that her father will come home safely, and not need any autograph anymore, or for the one after which you lose your flag but are given another one by people you just met; or for „meeting”, via the often-criticised social media, of a sisterly soul (yes that’s You).