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I used to be terrified of death, could never stop thinking about it. Over the years, I have cared for my mother-in-law as she died on hospice in our home, supported a good friend as she died from cancer, was with my grandparents as they died, and people in my community that I didn’t know well, but felt the loss just the same. Witnessing death first hand completely changed my perspective and I am no longer afraid. I see the beauty in life more now and appreciate the fragility of it.

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Thank you for every single word here. I definitely feel like the last year or so of loss and exposure to loss has made me understand your words and feel them. I used to “feel” death and loss but had never seen it

The latter really DOES change us

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There's something special about being alone, but having a special person available to be alone with. I get it...

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It also feels like a new chapter of life to be okay with being alone? People write about “being okay with one’s own company” but the young Mom in me used to think that sounded either selfish and privileged, and/or was too restless to get it.

Now… I think I’m learning slowly what that means?

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Honey, we aren't meant to be alone, but I believe a lot of how we handle it is our overall perspective on life. As your beautiful babies get older, and grow more independent (sorry, it's inevitable), you can focus on what a wonderful job you did raising two outstanding young women. I think being alone with one's self has a lot to do with our internal self esteem. I hope you some day, think of yourself as highly as I do, and I promise, as long as I live I'll be available for you. I'm looking forward to the day I find you in Heaven, there will be hugs!

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